Linkinparkfan9799 Interviews: Lelouch L
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: So I interview the crazy sex god himself without knowing a thing about him. Trust me, it's weird.


_**New segment I'm starting. It's basically me, interviewing characters. First up is Code Geass: Lelouch Lamperouge. I wrote this when I knew nothing about it, so yeah, it sucks, but what the hay?**_

**Interviewer: Linkinparkfan9799**

**Interviewee: Lelouch**

**My boss: Mrs. Oswaldes**

**Thanks to: My odd, odd mind**

**Linkinparkfan9799 Interviews: Lelouch L. 'Code Geass'**

_Mrs. Oswaldes is an aged woman with a skeleton of a figure, sagging breasts, and the fashion of a Vistorian Aristocrat woman,. This framed glasses and vulture red eyes directed specifically glaring at the girl standing at the opposite end of the long, teak table. She folds her hands on her lap._

_"Miss..." she starts._

_"I ten to use 'Linkin Ann Oddball' in business matters," I, that shaking girl, whisper._

_"Miss Oddball then," she sighs, not understanding the modern society. "You have been writing about several clients...yes?" I nod. "Key word: several. Miss Oddball, we, the board that has been supporting all of thus, demand you get more clients or we _will _shut you down!"_

_"O-okay!" I gulp. "I-I'll go-"_

_"Wait. We've already assigned you to __Code Geass__'s Lelouch Lamperouge."_

_"What? I know nothing about-"_

_"Either this, or we will shut you down."_

FML

So here I, Linkinparkfan9799 or Linkin Ann Oddball, stand in front of a large structure, shaking like it's December in the North Pole. About ten AMV's off of YouTube, two FanFictions, funny pictures and some clips, I walk up to the door clutching my green 'Five Star' folder. Yep, unexperience, uninformed, and under-payed, i walk into a foreign house (being American), wearing a black T-shirt, black sweats, and black combat boots, my dark-brown hair in the usual curly mess at the shoulders and my dark brown eyes skimming the folder for all I know about 'Lelouch'.

Hot

Insane

Some Prince

Yep. This shoulb be _fun_. I knock on big doors. "Come in," a voice huffs.

I sheepishly shove through one arm holding my green folder. "Hello," I gulp. "I'm Linkinparkfan9799 or Linkin Ann Oddball, I guess they used that...anyways, I'm here for the interview?"

"Ah, Miss Linkin," he stands, smiling in all his sexy glory. "Take a seat."

I sit and open my folder. "Okay, Lelouch Lamperouge?" He nods. "Okay, I know nothing about you, so I'll just be simple and maybe come later for more 'I know you' ones, okay?" He nods. again with a calm smile. "So-"

Bet you expect me to be nose gushing at random. Nope. _Duh-duh-duh-dun...Duh-duh-duh-DUN!_ I laugh nervously and he nods so I click the call button on the flip-pink cell and sigh. "Linkin, you there?"

I slap my forehead. "One second," I mouth, walking into the hall and shutting the door. "JENNIFFER?"

Old time buddy, aged to twenty, she's an american Pizza Hut worker slackee. Red-head with brown eyes, she loves pizza, anime, manga, Lelouch, and sports. Her favorite quote? 'Work with what you love'. "Hey. You called Pizza Hut an _hour ago_."

I did? "I did? Hey, must've been when I was drunk on Hellium. But can you just leave me alone for a bit? I'm interviewing Lelouch from Code Geass..."

"I know," she chews on her (black liquorish) gum. "Bored out of my _mind_."

I blink. "Wait, so the pizza _isn't _real?"

"Yep. Bored."

I huff and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Jenniffer, I _need _to do this!"

"Alright, alright!" she sighs. "Make me bore myself to death!"

I end the call, open the doors, and take _one _step before it rings again. I just pick it up. "Linkinparkfan9799 speaking."

"get me Leelouch's autograph!" Jenniffer squeals.

"Ugh, no," I grunt.  
"Please!"

"No."

"Pretty please!" Repeat about thirty times in ten seconds.

"ALRIGHT!" I scream. "Only if you ha-"

_BEEP_...Yes, she hung up! I pocket my phone and walk back to the desk, sitting down and picking up my folder. "Okay, Mr. Lamperouge, is it okay if I call you Lelouch?"

"It's fine," he nods politely, hands folded on the desk.

"Okay, Lelouch. So do y-"

A sonic boom is pictured in my mind as a speed up (also Chipmunk) version of Lady Gaga's _bad Romance_ starts echoing in the room. As it plays, I stare at the contents of my folder with one twitching eye, a tick mark, and a maniacal smile. Lelouch chuckles. "I think your phone is ringing."

I sigh and exit into the hall, opening my phone to find it _off_. Odd...I beat it against the wall thrice and look at it again. Still off? Where is this coming from? Beating it some more, I decide to stomp on it, raising my leg.

I find it gets louder as my leg rises.

I blink at my pants and search the right to curl the right pants leg up. I find a recorder. _Property of Ann Siam _(another client)_. If founce, contact immediately so I can move to Acapolco. _I growl and stomp into a kitchen with several chefs to snatch a knife, stomp towards Lelouch's office, the chefs clearly thinking I'm off to murder the hottie. Growling, I stop in front of the door to cut off the right pants leg right above the knee and handing both cloth and knife to the chefs. "HERE!" I scream. "JUST TAKE THIS!"

I storm back into the office. Opening my mouth to apologize and tell Lelouch to remind me that I need to kill Ann, a nightcore version (google) of the _Mortal Kombat _theme echoes. He covers his mouth to prevent from laughing and I blush, steping out and my underwear somewhat riding up. I dial (483-888-8697).

"_Hello?_"

"Ann, cut the crap," I snarl.

I hear her gulp. "Where am I moving? Acapolco? Canada? New Zealend? Chile? Deep in the trenches of China?"

I count the number of locations. "You put _five recorders _in my clothing?_!_"

"Well?"

I grunt and cross my arms. "Where is the Mortal Kombat one?"

She sighs. "You don't want to know."

I scream and stomp into the bathroom.

FAL

"SO sorry about that," I return to the office, my pants now shorts, my left bra strap revealed for having removed the left shirt shoulder, my underwear stuffed in my pocket chopped to shreds, and my flat stomach shown as it's now a mini-top.

"Interesting attire," he chuckles.

"thanks for pointing that out," I groan. "Okay, first question..." I stare at the paper. "Is this...okay...? Do you like...jellybeans?"

He peaks over the folder to the paper in my hand to confirm the fact it is indeed a question and not a figment of my imgination. He shrugs. "Depends on what flavor I guess."

I nod and check that off, then freeze.

FAT TEST

I slap my face and place that in the trash can. 'Do you like hard se-' "OKAY!" I eat that to make sure NOBODY sees that. "My questions are-"

"In your digestive system?" he raises a thin brow.

"No, that was a Rape probablity quiz," I blurt. "Excuse me plea-"

"Nah, sit. I won't mind," he leans forward with a kind smile.

I check my folder blankly. No other appointments yet...crap. I sigh and take out my phone, dialing (483-888-8697). "Yellow?"

"That's the color of your tree I'm going to rape in front of it's saplings," I growl (she has yellow trees, okay?). "What did you do with my questions?"

"They're in a better place," she sniffles. "White Lily's stomach..."

I blink. "You...fed my Lelouch questions...to a _horse_?:

"No, but I bet a vein burst!" she cackles (bitch). "I have them."

"Then co-"

My safety phone rings and I take it out of my combat boot. "Hey!" Jenniffer groans. "Do you have that autograph?"

"Look I-"

"Who are you talking to?" Ann butts in?"

"Jen-"

"Is that Ann?" Jenniffer wonders.

"Guys!"

"Hm?" they both ask.

I sigh and slam my head on the desk. "You two are going to be the death of me."

"Hey, I need more oc-"

"Hold that thought," I smirk, hanging up on both.

Lelouch, being the ass he apparently is, covers his full-fledged grin to keep it from forming into a mouth of laughter. "You certainly do have interesting conversations," he leans in, probably four inches from my lips (don't think I didn't have urges).

"Yeah, welll one's a vampire with mental issues so," I shrug, not at all minding the odd look on his face.

"Wha-"

"LINKIN! I HAVE THE QUESTIONS!"

I scream and rush through the door into the hall before she enters. "Ann!" I sigh. "Thanks and here is a lion cub!" I toss her the cage and rush back, tripping over a combat boot lace and finding myself on top of a knocked down Lelouch. "AH!" I jump off. "Jeez, embarassing myself was _NOT _in the contract!"

"What contract?" he laughs. "Were you enjoying yourself?"

"UGH! NO I WAS NOT, YOU IKUTO TSUKIYOMI!" He raises a brow, so I groan. "Another client..."

He pushes himself onto his butt and smiles at me. "Okay Miss Linkin, any questions?"

I sit down on the chair. "Yeah, why are you still on the floor?"

he chuckles and pushes his chair back up, sitting down and folding his hands. "to get a better view of you," he rolls his eyes.

I blink and sniff my shirt. If Ann messed with my perfume..."Okay," I drop the subject, "what does a Geass do?"

"It varies," he says. "Mine let's people do what I say."

Scribble, scribble. "Two, do you enjoy physical activity?" He shakes his head, so I continue. "Three, you have a friend C.C who gave you this Geass...to my understanding, she loves pizza?"

"Yes, she eats it almost every day," he sighs.

"...and she's not _fat_?" I gap with awe.

"Fast matavellism," he shrugs.

I mutter 'lucky' before scibbling the answer, checking the box next to the question. "Okay, f-"

My phone rings, so he mouths 'speakerphone' seeing my conversations amuse him somewhat. I sigh and comply. "Linkin Ann oddball speaking."

"Hey-y Linkin!" a drunken slur laughs. "Listen...I'm _wasted off my ass_, so could you pick me up?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, not paying attention to the laughing misfit. "Blart," I sigh, "ask Ann!"

Blart-clown on parol for nearly killing Barney in front of live television (mentioned in 'Annoying the Vamps'). "Ann's"

"Look," I snap, "I don't _fcking give a shit _if you're drunk. I don't care if you're on parol. I don't _fcking give a shit _if Ann picks you up or you have to drive wasted! I DON'T *Censor for 2 minutes* GIVE A CRAP! JUST LEAVE ME BE!"

I hang up and I hear laughter. I glare at the culprit, Lelouch. "You certainly do have interesting conversations!" he manages before falling back, still laughing.

"Can we just get this done?" I complain.

He wipes _tears _from his eyes and regains his composure. "okay, okay, what's the fourth question?"

"Four, what are those huge robots called?"

"Knightmares," he blinks.

"How do you spell that? N-I-"

"No it's K-N-I."

I nod and jot that down. "Do you watch Anime?"

"not much, but in my free time, I might."

Jotting..."Six, why-"

both my safety phone and my normal cell ring, so I dash into the hall like nobody knows it (suck that Lelouch!) and put both on speaker phone and on a small table. "Linkinparkfa-"

"Yo," Jenniffer states.

I grit my teeth. She could _at least_ let me finish! "Ann, Jenniffer?"

"Yes?" both 'dead meats' reply.

"What is SO important that you had to interupt my interview?" I snap viciously.

"I'm bored and Ann can't drive," she sighs.

"Then you drive her!" I gasp at her utter stupidity.

"But I'm working!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING?"

"Work's boring," both giggle.

I face-palm myself. I'd prefer to face-stairs, but the stairs are all the way over there (about twenty feet). Sighing, I pinch my arm to get some tension out. "Look," I groan, "leave me alone and you get Lelouch himself."

Jenniffer hangs up, Ann laughing her ass off. "I don't-"

"Torture victim."

_CLICK!_ I smile in victory and turn. Horror-stricken and filled to the brim with humilliation, i pass out.

FML

I yawn and stretch my arms out. "What..."

"Oh, you're awake," Lelouch smiles. "Would you like to continue with our interview or are you not quite done selling me to your friends?"

I nod. "Yeah, yeah, six; why am I here?"

"Passed out," he shrugged.

"Seven, how do you get...all the..." I stare at the questions in disbelief. "..._girls?"_

He leans in. "I think you could answer that."

_He's sexy. He's sexy. He's sexy-_"You have a boner."

I cover my mouth and he laughs, in which mu face shimmers red. "Is that it?"

"N-NO!" _You're sexy! YOU'RE THE SEX GOD NUMBERO TRES! _"I-I WAS T-T-"

The door opens. "Hey Linkin, I-"

I blink at the demigof Kesley Imbiber. "What. Are. You-"

She holds up her phone. "Picking you up. Hey, when do I get a sequel?"

I shove her out and baracade the door. _CRAP! _"WORST DAY EVER!"

Lelouch raises an amused brow. "You just closed us both in alone."

I scream and rush out, dragging kesley behind. "H-Hey!" she shrieks.

Lelouch laughs. "See you soon!"

**So, tell me what you think and who is next! I'll only do it if I know it, so just guess. review, and check out my other stuff.**


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